A Love Unstifled
by limerbean
Summary: After some investigation, Mamoru decides to surprise Usagi with a lovely romance, but from fear of rejection he dawns his mask. What will he do when that mask comes off? completed
1. The Beginning of an Idea

Title: A Love Unstifled

Summary: After some investigation, Mamoru decides to surprise Usagi with a lovely romance, but from fear of rejection he dawns his mask. What will he do when that mask comes off?

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon in any way,  
So don't sue me, I really have to say,  
But if I did,  
I'd surely rid,  
Myself of writing fanfics today.

AN: Hiso everybody! This is my third story here, I hope it does well! I am pretty aware that unstifled isn't actually a word...but...just pretended its a more smoother way as in to say not-stifled.

* * *

She walked into the Crown Fruit Parlor, spying an elusive dark-haired devil. Mamoru. 

Or Mamoru-baka, as she usually called him. Their meetings were less than friendly, and always ended up making her angry. He insulted her poor academics, her lack of maturity, and her clumsiness. Maybe she didn't do well in school, and was late to classes and meetings, but she also saved innocent people from youma all the time, so could she help it?

That was another thing, she was Sailor Moon, champion of justice.

He was cold hearted and an insensitive jerk.

Not always, sometimes he was kinder and more caring. But this was rare. Moreover, he was never kind or caring towards her.

'He must really hate me.' She thought sadly.

"Odango, isn't it kind of early to be up for a Saturday? It's not even noon yet."

"For your information, MAMORU-BAKA, I do wake up early sometimes! and my name is USAGI!"

Yes, he must really hate her.

* * *

He was enjoying the morning with the daily newspaper and black coffee, of the strongest brew. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched his blonde angel enter the arcade. 

"Odango, isn't it kind of early to be up for a Saturday? It's not even noon yet." he said. Somehow, his carefully planned out sentences that praised her beauty, her radiance, disappeared once he opened his mouth. Out of nervousness, always, out of his mouth, came an insult.

She yelled at him with contempt, and he felt a small pain tug at his heart. If only he could stop being the "insensitive jerk" that she always saw in him.

He wished that once, she could look at him with those summer blue eyes, with love, instead of spite.

* * *

She sat down on a stool in front of the counter, one seat away from Mamoru. 

"Hello Motoki-onii-san!" she greeted the blonde man behind the counter. Motoki was in fact not her brother, but they were so close, they were almost siblings. Minus the bickering and teasing that she had with her real brother.

"Hello Usagi-chan. Chocolate milkshake?"

"Mmm-Hmm!" she nodded enthusiastically.

She propped her purse up onto the counter, and from it pulled out manga. She drank from her milkshake while reading it with intense concentration.

Mamoru turned to look at her. She was reading something, he noticed, and his curiosity got the best of him.

He snatched the book from her hands.

"Aha, manga. I knew there would be nothing that Odango Atama would read." She glared at him and flailed her hands about, reaching for her book.

"That book is mine! Give it back! Don't you dare read it!"

He had planning on reading it anyways, considering he already had it, but with her challenge he was even more inclined.

The pictures showed a Prince giving roses to his beloved Princess. They shared a full page kiss under the drawn moonlight. Captions revealed a forbidden love, an undying love. A love unstifled.

"What utter rubbish." He said distastefully. "I assume this is your substitute for a boyfriend?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" she stormed out of the arcade.

Motoki watched all this, saying nothing the whole time. "Mamoru, you shouldn't be so mean to her."

"I...can't help it."

Then he looked down in his hands. 'She forgot her book.'

He got up slowly and walked out of the arcade.

* * *

'This must be her house.' He was about to ring the doorbell when he heard someone talking. He walked around the building and saw Usagi sitting on her bed, on the second floor, through her window, the balcony somewhat obscuring the scene. He realized she was writing in her diary, voicing each word she wrote. Mamoru hid behind a tree and listened. 

"also, Mamoru-baka was teasing me again. He is so awful and mean, why would he want to make fun of me? Am I not a good person? AND he always calls me Odango Atama...how annoying! and then he has the nerve to say I'M annoying. I just wish for once he would be more considerate. More like Tuxedo Kamen."

She paused and a dreamy sigh escaped her mouth. 'So Odango has a thing for Tuxedo Kamen?' Mamoru thought.

"You know diary, lately I've been thinking about love...everybody talks about it...and says it's the most wonderful thing..but I've never even had a boyfriend. The more I think about it though, I don't want just a boyfriend. I want true love, romance. But is that ever possible? Especially for me? I'm not pretty or smart...and this is no fairytale...but I just wish..."

"oh usagi oh especially for you' Mamoru almost whispered. Suddenly an idea formed in his head. 'And I can give it to you...'

Then his thoughts were interrupted by a scream. 'Youma...' Nearby he felt Sailor Moon beginning to transform...


	2. The Plan Carried Out

And from nearby he also heard Sailor Moon yell "Moon Prism Power". 'That's odd...she must be really nearby." He whipped around and saw Usagi bathed in a golden light, transforming into the hero that he tried hard to protect.

'Usagi..is Sailor Moon?'

Suddenly his plan became more urgent then ever. The girl he loved, and the girl he always protected were the same exact girl...he felt as if he could run to her and confess all his feelings. But he wouldn't. He would give her the romance of her dreams, and give his heart one field day. Then he would safely return to the shadows, and nothing need be confessed.

Rejection not expressed.

It would be better that way.

She would be happy, receiving love.

And he would be safe, and wouldn't have to feel the pain of more rejection.

All his life he had been rejected. He was rejected from society, when the world made him an orphan by taking his parents away. He rejected himself, when he could not remember his past. He couldn't take it if the golden angel who accepted everything life had to offer...rejected him.

Sailor Moon leapt off the balcony, and Mamoru felt a gripping pain in his chest. He transformed into Tuxedo Kamen, and followed her.

He stayed in the shadows, watching Sailor Moon and her Sailor senshi fight off the youma.

It was horribly ugly, several mouths protruding from its abdomen, which was pretty much all it had besides a pair of quick moving legs. Gnarled fangs and long, skinny purple tongues hung out of the mouths.

It had an innocent civilian tangled in one of its tongues, dripping with an acidic drool.

Sailor Mercury, Mars, and Venus, took turns trying to distract the ugly demon while Jupiter prepared for an attack.

"Jupiter Thunder Crash!" Sailor Jupiter yelled, sending a bolt of lightning towards the youma. Luckily, the youma was surprised and it dropped the poor person, who took off running.

He watched Sailor Moon pick the tiara off her head, preparing to send it towards the youma in a final blaze of energy.

He still couldn't believe that his Usagi was Sailor Moon...the klutzy, whining girl full of laughter and sunshine was also the strong fierce protector of justice and love.

In a sudden turn of events, Sailor Moon was caught off guard, the youma running towards her. He quickly leapt and carried her out of the way, throwing a rose into the one of the youma's throats. When he returned Sailor Moon to the ground, she dusted the youma, and he ran off before she would speak a word to him.

He had too much to plan for her.

* * *

He had it all planned out. 

He had left a note attached to a rose, only signed anonymous, that said to wait by her windowsill dressed in her finest. He would transform into Tuxedo Kamen, and whisk her away in the night. Then, he would take her onto a secluded beach blanketed with rose petals, where he had prepared for her a candle lit dinner. He would have music play, and after dinner they would dance. If all went well, he would steal a kiss from her, and if he died right after that, it would be all worth it.

Mamoru had spent so many sleepless nights, planning this all out. When he did sleep, he would awake with a jerk, grasping for a pad of paper so his idea would not escape into the night. Everything had to be perfect.

He had already transformed, and was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, but halfway there, he had remembered that he had forgotten to light the candles.

'Kami-sama! How could I forget the candles! Everything has to be perfect!'

After lighting the candles, he continued on his journey to her house.

* * *

Usagi opened the door to her room, she fell on her bed in an exhausted heap. She had gotten detention again for not paying attention in class. 

How could she help it that she could not focus on the quadratic formula? She had much more important things to deal with.

She recalled her last youma battle, in which her hero, her knight in shining armor, had rescued her from the youma. But he had left before she had gotten a chance to thank him. He was so strong and mysterious, she wished she could reach out to him somehow.

She looked to the side, and on her balcony she saw a long-stemmed red rose, with a note tied to it with a black silk ribbon.

* * *

Standing on the edge of her balcony, he saw her sitting by the window in a silky white off-shoulder dress trimmed in a cream-colored lace. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around her at that moment, she looked like an angel, just like a princess. 

'The plan Chiba, remember the plan. Don't do anything crazy...stick to the plan!' He could barely keep his hormones in check when he noticed how the dress accented her curvy figure. Her skin looked like pure ivory in the soft moonlight, and her golden hair turning a gentle silver. Her large blue eyes looked around hopefully, and her soft pink lips pouted gently.

He gently rapped on her window, and she looked up surprised.

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama?" She whispered as she opened her window, stepping out onto the balcony.

He held his hand out to her, "Do you trust me?"

Without considering, she answered "Yes."

He picked her up and whisked her out the window, again leaping from the rooftops.

He stared at the breathtaking girl in his arms, who was looking back at him. For a minute their eyes locked, even through his mask, and a sudden warmth went through his body. He continued to stare into her eyes throughout the awkward silence that would have killed Mamoru, but luckily he was Tuxedo Kamen, and was impenetrable. But then Usagi looked away.

She blushed, and was silent.

They arrived on the beach, and just as he hoped, everything seemed perfect. The candles were lit, the rose petals lay on the floor creating a slight fragrance of deep red roses.

He walked to the table, and pulled her a chair with his gloved hands. "Please, m'lady, have a seat." He said as smoothly as he could, which was quite smooth considering his heart beat in his chest so hard that he couldn't breathe.

* * *

Usagi was so surprised of this all. Her dream-guy had appeared in her window, and took her off to a beach, with candles and rose petals... 

It was all so beautiful, she didn't even realize she was holding her breath. She was even afraid that if she were to move, it would all melt away. If this was a dream, she would not want to wake up from it.

The stars twinkled above her, and she heard music play.

"Please, m'lady, have a seat." he said to her as he pulled her a chair.

She sat down gracefully, and they enjoyed a meal quietly. She thought she would feel uncomfortable to be in such a romantic place with such a handsome man while she was just a silly child, but she felt so comforted, and that nothing was out of the ordinary.

But everything felt like it was moving so fast.

"Usagi, do you know why I brought you here?"

She shook her head no, she was almost bewildered by what was going on.

He chuckled lightly, sounding deep and breathy.

The music played slightly louder, and he got up from his chair, his cape ruffled in the wind.

"Would you care to dance with me?" He held out his gloved hand, and when she accepted, he pulled her close and they danced gracefully under the starlight.

* * *

Usagi placed her head on his chest as they swayed gently to the music. He laid his head on hers, and they both closed their eyes savoring the moment. 

Then, like a rock breaking through a window, Usagi interrupted the tranquility and romance of the moment, with a thought that occurred in her mind.

"Tuxedo Kamen?"

"Yes, Usako?"

She blushed gently at the nickname he bestowed to her, but still continued.

"Who are you...really?"

He had planned for so long, and planned for everything to be perfect...but never planned what he would say if she asked him this.

"I'm sorry Usako, I cannot tell you."

"Do you not...trust...me?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes almost tearful.

For a minute he considered telling her everything. Confessing his love, kissing her, unmasking himself, revealing all the pain and longing, breaking down the walls that surrounded his heart and soul...

but if she knew who he was...

she would not accept it.

Already, he had made the mistake of making her hate Mamoru, he didn't need to make her hate Tuxedo Kamen too.

At least he could have her, while he was protected by his mask, protected by those walls he had strived to build.

"I trust you with my life."

'But I don't trust you with my heart...'


	3. Shame and Sadness

He held her hand as he lead her around, walking around the beach, stars twinkling in their midst.

She watched his strong figure walk beside her, seeming to be deep in thought.

Suddenly he stopped walking.

He grasped her other hand and looked at her.

"Usako," he whispered, snaking his arms around her waist, "I love you."

Then he moved one of his arms to support the back of her head as he lowered his own.

Their lips met gently, and he tasted the soft smooth flavor of her mouth.

It was better than he had ever dreamed. For so long he had watched her, and wondered what this might feel like, how it would feel to have her small graceful body encircled in his arms, and her luscious pink lips pressed against his own.

He pressed her body closer to his when she wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers playing with his black hair.

Lust overcame him, and he was tempted to ravage her inexperienced lips with his sudden urge. But he didn't want to frighten her away, so he kissed her gently.

He traced her lips with his tongue, and she opened her lips slightly. He slid his tongue into her mouth and was suddenly so lost in the sensation of their kiss.

Her eyes were closed as she felt Tuxedo Kamen's tongue search every inch of her mouth.

She again realized, she did not know who Tuxedo Kamen was. It was like kissing a complete stranger...except...the stranger was Tuxedo Kamen.

She figured it would do no hurt, if she just lifted the mask a little, and maybe catch a glimpse of who it was. Who could it be? And why would they not want to tell her? It couldn't be bad or anything...unless they were from the Negaverse. And if they were she shouldn't be kissing them. But the kiss was so wonderful...

Before they broke apart for air, she lifted her hands from his neck. He was so lost in their kiss, and in the taste of her mouth, he continued to kiss her with an undying passion, not noticing that she had plans.

She opened her eyes and lifted the mask away from his face.

She broke away from their kiss in surprise.

"Mamoru?" She asked in barely a whisper.

Tuxedo Kamen, or Mamoru, was still so engrossed with their kiss, that even after she had whispered his name, it took a few moments for him to notice that she was holding his mask in her hands, and that his identity had been revealed.

He brought his hands to his face, covering all his features with his gloved hands. He was panicking. Now she knew who he was.

She would hate Tuxedo Kamen as much as she hated Mamoru. And hate Mamoru more. So much more...for tricking her...and she would probably think it was a joke...that none of this was true. But it was so true...

Now she knew his secret. And nothing would be the same again...

"Mamoru?" she whispered again.

In shame and sadness, he leapt into the darkness, where he vanished. But as he escaped, he could not escape her lingering voice, which continued to whisper his name in confusion.


	4. Thoughts of Avoidance

The days after that were hard on Mamoru.

Everything had been so perfect, how could it go so wrong?

He looked horrible, with bags under his eyes, and angry glare settling on his face.

He couldn't sleep, all he saw was her face as she lifted his mask, full of surprise. Most likely if he had stayed a while longer, her face would have contorted into a furious look, and she would have yelled at him for being a jerk. Say that he was being mean and playing a joke on her.

If only she knew that it was all true, that it was all for her!

Some nights he would think of the feeling of her soft lips on his own...how perfect everything was that night. He had gotten so close to having Usagi...

He took different routes to school and work. He even stopped going to the Crown Fruit Parlor, because he knew Usagi would always be there.

He was angry at everything, and even small problems infuriated him.

He drank bitter black coffee all the time, making him even more bitter, and making it harder for him to sleep.

And he could never stop thinking of Usagi.

Now he had lost her, she would never speak to him again, whether he was Mamoru or Tuxedo Kamen. If she saw him again, she would profess her hate, her anger. He wouldn't be able to take it. The girl he loved...hated him? He would rather go on, knowing that she hated him, without actually hearing it. He would lose all reality if he did.

* * *

Motoki noticed that Mamoru had stopped coming in for coffee. At least if he didn't want coffee, he would come to talk to his best friend, right?

'Maybe I should call Mamoru...just to make sure he's okay.'

He picked up the phone and dialed the number.

"Moshi moshi." he heard from the other side of the phone.

"Mamoru? It's Motoki."

He heard a grunt.

"Are you alright? You haven't stopped by here lately."

"I'm fine." The voice said gruffly.

"Are you sure Mamoru? You sound like you need some sleep."

Mamoru grunted again, and hung up the phone.

Motoki took the phone away from his ear, and looked at it, the dial tone accenting the silence.

'Huh?'

* * *

She hadn't seen Mamoru since that night. She looked for him in all the places that she had ever seen him... the book store, the arcade, the park, all those places where she had run into him...but hadn't seen him. It was like he disappeared.

Her thoughts went back to that night...

He said he loved her, but if he loved her why would he avoid her? Or was it all a joke? Sometimes she thought it was, and that any moment he would come from behind her and laugh his head off at her confusion. But he had sounded so sincere...and now, with careful inner debate, she realized, that she wished he did love her...because she felt herself...loving him too.

He kissed her, it was tender and gentle...and full of longing...somehow she had tasted pain and want in his lips...like he was seeking relief and maybe...love?

But when she unmasked him...she couldn't believe that Tuxedo Kamen was Mamoru.

Mamoru loved her?

Tuxedo Kamen loved her?

Mamoru was Tuxedo Kamen?

Mamoru rescued her when she was in danger?

Tuxedo Kamen teased her about her hair and bad grades?

They were the same person?

He had kissed her, told her that he loved her...

Was he ashamed?

She thought back again...

After she had taken off his mask, before he covered his face and disappeared into the shadows...had she seen fear?

* * *

"Usagi!" Rei exclaimed, seeing her childish friend for the first time in a few days.

Ami, Makoto and Minako turned their heads to see their friend passing by the arcade. For some reason, she was elusive in school, and impossible to find at any other times. They all got up from their booth and walked outside the window to greet her.

"Usagi! We haven't seen you in ages!" Makoto said.

"You guys seem really excited for some reason." Usagi replied dully.

"You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow farther." Minako commented.

"Fonder, Minako-chan. Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Ami corrected.

"Isn't that what I said?"

They all laughed lightly, except Usagi.

They exchanged looks asking 'What happened to Usagi?' and returned looks that were blank and confused.

"Actually girls, I've got to go. Bye." Usagi stated plainly as she walked in the opposite direction of her house, which further confused the girls.

"Bye...?" Again the girls exchanged quizzical looks.

* * *

Usagi walked around the park aimlessly.

How come she hadn't seem Mamoru in so long? Where had he been? Where COULD he be?

'Right there.'

Her eyes widened a little.

Mamoru sat on a wooden park bench, his elbows propped on his knees and his head clutched in his hands. His hair was pulled into weird positions and strained in all directions, if it had not looked so desperate, it would look almost comical.

She walked close to him, standing right in front of him. She saw in shudder slightly, and she whispered his name. He shook his head, as if trying to clear the thoughts from his head.

Why was Mamoru doing this?

She sat on the bench next to him, and whispered his name again. She reached out and lightly put her hand on his shoulder.He looked up at her, his eyes wide, and she saw it again.

Fear?

Not a word was spoken, and neither of them dared to move. They stared into each others' eyes for what seemed like years...


	5. The Happiest Man Alive

He had found his way to this park bench, where he still tried to sort himself out.

He NEEDED her. He hadn't seen her in so long, and she was like a drug, and he was addicted to her...

He needed to see her, smell her, hear her...but he could not be near her. He would completely lose her forever, and lose all hope...there was hope, and it was scarce, but if she rejected him, that hope, though untouched, would be shattered forever.

Could he live on without that small hope?

'This pain must be driving me crazy, I can feel her presence. She feels so near...' He shuddered.

"Mamoru."

Again he heard her voice whisper his name.

No...he can't do this all his life. He shook his head back and forth. His whole life, so cool and collected, smart and articulate. He had gone through pain before, more than most people have in their whole life, and he was still pretty young.

He had lost his parents, lost his memories, was left alone without friends, family, or reason. Until lately, he had had nothing.

He now had Motoki, his best friend, he had a job, was in a high-end college, owned an apartment...and suddenly the fear of rejection from a lighthearted angel crashed all that he had worked to build.

Her voice whispered his name once more, and he felt a soft hand on his shoulder.

He looked up to see her sitting beside him. He stared at her more, in case she was just an image his mind conjured, in case she would vanish.

But he stared at her for the longest time, and still she remained there.

He opened his mouth, and out could only come angry words.

"Leave." He looked away quickly, he didn't want to see her face.

"Mamoru, what's wr-"

"I said leave!" he turned around and yelled into her face.

Quickly her eyes filled with tears.

His heart softened at this sight, and he wanted to apologize, to tell her everything...but it would be better if she would just leave. Or maybe if he left.

He stood up stiffly and was about to take a step when...

"Mamoru, just tell me..." her voice tearful and strained, "Did you mean what you said? Do...do you love me? Or was it a joke?"

He said nothing.

A sob escaped her, and she continued to talk, growing softer and softer with each word, becoming almost inaudible.

"Please don't tell me it was a joke, a lie. Please tell me it was true. I want it to be true." He hadn't heard the last sentence at all. His mind was swimming, and he was drowning, choking.

She got up and reached out to him "Mamoru, is it true?"

He heard the pain in her voice. No. No. No, he couldn't let his bright angel go through all the pain he had. If anyone deserved happiness, it would be Usagi, the golden-haired princess that he had always desired.

"Yes, Usagi, it is true." He admitted, after hurting, after denying.

He spun around, and as she opened her mouth to speak, he placed his hand on her smooth lips. Trying not to get distracted by their silkiness, he continued to talk, so he could leave this place, and leave all this pain behind him.

"Yes. I didn't mean to always tease you. Just somehow, that's how it always came out. I was afraid that you would never like the "insensitive jerk" that I have become to you, but somehow my teasing kept you around. And I needed you. And I still need you. If you hate me, if you never want to ever see me again, please don't say it. I love you, Usako, I really do."

She leapt forward and hugged him tightly, her face snuggled against his chest.

"Mamoru, I love you too."

He stood their in shock before slowly hugging her back. 'She loves me too? she...loves...me...too?'

She sobbed tears of joy, and laughed a little.

His face broke into a smile.

"Usako...really?"

"Yes Mamoru, I really love you."

"You don't hate me?"

"I didn't like it when you teased me, but I never hated you."

He kissed the top of her head. "Usako, that makes me the happiest man alive."

She giggled happily.

He placed a sweet light kiss on her lips.

They walked through the park, just enjoying the presence of one another, and trying to take in all that had happened.

* * *

The sun was setting, and Mamoru had lowered his lips down to Usagi's neck, leaving butterfly kisses along her collarbone. She shivered from his gentle touch. He

then brought his lips up to her own, and kissed her with a longing passion. The kiss was gentle, only demanding the taste of her mouth. He crushed her to him, which she was grateful for, because her legs had lost all strength in the passion of their kiss.

The sun setting behind them gave them an angelic glow, looking picture-perfect.

On the ground next to them, the wind turned pages of the very manga that Usagi had been reading. On this page, the pictures showed a strong heroic man strengthened under the love of the sweet blonde protector of innocents. They shared a full page kiss under the setting sun. Captions revealed an unforgettable love, an undying love. A love unstifled.

* * *

Ta-da! Thanks for reading! Please review! 


End file.
